“There’s no lie you won’t tear down coming after me.”
People have been singing about it for ages now. But what about when that reckless love betrays you? What about when that Love doesn’t catch you when you fall; what about when that Love leaves you when you needed it the most. When that love feels a little more Thanos and Gamora and a little less “Good, good Father.” What do you do?
To be honest, I don’t know. That’s kind of where I’m at right now. What do you do when God gives and takes away? Of course, everyone tells you the story of Job. And the numerous others who had good things taken away. Then of course, it wasn’t God who took whatever it was away.
But what happens when everything feels cliche–when you’ve heard all the answers and nothing makes sense or soothes the wound? What happens when it all rings empty hollow? The reality is, sometimes there aren’t good answer. How am I supposed to?
Shoot your flaming arrows at heaven
Sometimes it feels like everyone who happily sings all these hymns and believes them, has never really felt that pain of when (it feels like) God betrayed you.
I wrote that some months ago. And the thing is, it still rings true. My faith got broken in ways I’m still sorting out. Sometimes even when you do everything right, things go horribly wrong. And sometimes that shakes your very foundation. And that’s ok.
I can’t promise you that the pain will magically get better or that you will find a satisfactory answer to the whys in life. But I have figured out one thing–if nothing else–I think, maybe, the reason why we have community is because not all of our why questions can be answered. So that in those times when God can’t answer Himself, we aren’t alone.
You will heal. You will grow. And you weren’t meant to heal alone. Your faith will heal, little by little. It will take time. People will rush you. But breathe. Faith took a long time to grow the first time, it will take time this time around. But it will grow again. Bc like a tree that got cut down, a little water on the roots and eventually you’ll get a new sprout. And eventually, a new tree. But it will. Take. Time.
For there is hope for a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease. -Job 14:7