“And all His promises are yes and amen.”
There’s something else that fear taught me about.
My views of God and His attitude towards me began to evolve and some of them began to fall away. It has been my experience that when we let fear rule us we not only damage ourselves, but we damage others. When we live by fear it shades and colors everything that we do. It influences the way that we believe God views us and therefore the way we view others. The world becomes a scary place with fear as the master.
Most importantly fear kills grace in the human heart. It forces it out. When fear rules the heart, it forces out love. When I allow my fear to influence my heart and mind, I begin to get afraid of God. When I became afraid of God, I became afraid of other people. And let me tell you. That changes the way that you view the world. And it’s hard. It’s hard to break out of that. In the book Hinds Feet on High Places Hannah Hurnard talks about how God had to rip out the false love and fear in her heart. In the story, it killed her. And that’s just about the truest thing I’ve heard. Letting go of fear and allowing those unhealthy parts of yourself to die is terrifying.
But then you get to wake up. Sometimes I think we not only die daily to self, but we have to die to different areas in our lives. And in that morning when we wake up and see the Healer who has ripped out the plant, roots and all of fear, and stuffed the gashes and craters with gauze and glue, something changes. It’s ok to heal. It’s ok to hurt. But when you wake up, as you begin to heal, once you let go of fear, everything changes. When I let go of fear, the people I made monsters, shrink back down to broken humanity. When I let grace fill my heart, I was free. When I let go of fear, the mountains became shadows. When I let grace fill my heart, I could love.
And then all His promises were “Yes and Amen.”