I’m sitting in the pew feeling very unworthy.
I’m sitting in my class listening to his sermon feeling very insignificant.
I’m sitting in a restaurant watching everyone look to them and their ministry..
And then I look at mine.
I see her giving tons of Bible studies; I see her looked up to so much.
And then I look at my life. And you know, it looks so small in comparison. My ministry seems so insignificant. It seems like my life isn’t worth as much as theirs is. I’m not the one people are inviting to preach. I’m not the one who is the expert. I’m not the one who wins the awards. Sometimes I feel like the runner up. Which doesn’t feel good enough. Let’s face it: my blog doesn’t even get a lot of views.
It seems like most everyone is doing a better job at ministry than I. I’m a struggling vegan. I don’t work out as much as I should. My entire Facebook timeline isn’t well quipped EGW (Ellen G. White) quotes. My ministry sometimes feels like a failure when compared with everyone else’s.
And it’s something that I struggle with every day: to be satisfied with where God has placed me. It is for me to struggle with being ok with the ministry He has given me. It’s listening to that still small voice that says that my ministry has eternal significance–just like theirs. And even on the days when I don’t feel like my work is worth something, it is. No, this doesn’t mean that I sit around and wait for opportunities to minister–it means I’m learning to be satisfied with what God has given me. It means comparing my ministry to Jesus’ ministry. It means taking my talents and using them and not questioning why I didn’t get ten. It means being faithful.
And my life? It’s not significant because of what I can do for Him. It’s significant because of what He did for me.